Captain Curry
Summary Captain Curry is the edgemaster himself. He became extremely emo through drinking way too much emo fag milk. Due to his overwhelming emo-ness he feels the need to label himself as fictitious diseases such as: Bipolar 2, BPD, and Depression. Only to make himself more edgy. The fucking edgemaster curses at least one time in every sentence, so "niggers" know what's up. He is also the biggest fucking pussy around pussy, excluding the time he stocked his wife, and murdered their child for a Brawl.iso. Origin Captain Curry was born in the motherland known as India, his mom flew there from America to give birth to him there, so he could gain "immigrant status", and lose the ability to ever run for president, and fuck over the economy. Full Retard Captain Curry went full retard from the very start, before he was even in school he had many accolades: * Got gum in his sisters hair, and got beaten with a wooden spoon for it * Locked himself, and his family out of their own apartment * Watched Baby Loony Tunes Jenks Hell Elementary Since Captain Curry was a fucking terrorist immigrant, in kindergarten he didn't deserve the PRIVILEDGE to recess. Instead he got to learn English, a language he was already fluent in. Then when first grade rolled around, things changed. He wasn't at Jenks East Elementary anymore, a dimensional shift occurred from Sloth pushing the memer into the mud. He was now at Jenks Hell Elementary. In First grade he had met Sloth, known as AhAh at the time. Sloth was looking for his boy Rexxar, but decided to take the autist Captain Curry under his wing instead. From there on they wreaked havoc on the playground. They did many great evils, including: * Monopolized the seasaw * Threw a rock at a window * Tormented a black kid * Sloth never shut the fuck up about Kingdom Hearts * Sloth tried to get pussy * Dug a hole * Broke a pencil sharpener * Dueled the douche Pearce. In participating in these activities Captain Curry realized the evils of Sloth. He tried to break out, but Sloth and Ethanman casted "I'm a buttermilk biscuit" on him. Captain Curry however managed to break free. Captain Curry then started affiliating himself with Cordell the timber nigger, and the city of Denver. Sloth regains his grip Once Captain Curry entered the Jenks Hell Intermediate Ethanman lured Captain Curry back into hanging out with Sloth. He succeeded, and before you knew Captain Curry entered the domain of Lincoln Glens. He became Sloth's butt buddy, and got kicked in the nuts by the traitorous Ethanman and got conned into trading his DS games for a second copy of Wind Waker, and a Metroid Prime 2 demo disc. Sloth and Captain Curry combined their powers, and then Sloth ditched him for the super autists. Then Captain Curry hung out with faggots in chatango lobbies, and played Maplestory, while thinking about killing himself due to his overwhelming edginess. Back to the Trash Heap Captain Curry was all alone once he reached Jenks Autism Middle School. All he had was his shitty game Maplestory to pull him through. His life consisted of self loathing, and playing Maplestory. Captain Curry was a total pussy, and sat around fantasizing about this girl he liked, however he never talked to her on the bus because MasterMatt101 was too busy with his bus autism. In 8th Grade Captain Curry regained a slight foothold in his life from playing xbox, but soon being neglected on there for THESOV1ETUN10N (1000000x cooler anyway). While in real life, he talked to Ethanman again, who was too busy getting laid to give a shit about Captain Curry. Captain Curry eventually abandoned console peasantry, and moved to the PC master race. While being a member of the master race, he played countless hours of TF2 idle_achievement, with Sloth, Ethanman, and Huhmei TF2 Apologist. Soon idle_achievement run stale, and he migrated to Legend League. Where he met the memer zwhizzle, and decided to hang with him instead of Ethanman. Ethanman got bored of getting laid, so he hung out with Legend League krew, somehow creating a bastard child. Much Legend League was played, and Ethanman was complete shit. However once Captain Curry was level 30, Zwhizzle decided to play a real game, Dota 2... Era of Legend League Captain Curry soon managed to find himself in a Legend League group, and Sloth was in it for awhile, but it was decided Sloth was being a whiny bitch so he was shunned. Many memes were created during this time, that The Autists don't know of. Eventually the League era came to end, because everyone decided they'd rather smoke weed. 420 Blaze it 2k15 During the summer of 2k15, Captain Curry had obsessive thoughts about his wife. He soon became manic, while in this manic state, it was only natural that'd he start using antidepressents and blazing it everday. While in this substance heavy mindstate he called Sloth, and Ethanman pieces of shit, Cyberstalked his wife, Went to her neighborhood, and murdered his son for a Brawl.iso. All that was said from his wife's father Phoenix Wright, was "Don't make this go public kid.". To this day Captain Curry remains a fatass, autistic, neckbeard, atheist, pussy. His vocabulary consists exclusively of the word fuck, and he's one of the most cynical and sarcastic shitheads you'll ever meet. To this day he still fails horribly at trying to get pussy, and sits around playing with his dick all day as SOV1ET taught him.